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Free Entry 1, Week 12

Finding your father’s paper porn isn’t like beating him at Battleship
or forcibly taking over cutting the grass every Saturday morning.
It’s awkward excitement, resorting to using your dad’s condom stash,
only to realize he’s bigger than you—would I prefer it any other way,
finding a porn without the case and having to watch it
to find out your preferences differ—I’d prefer it no other way—
I don’t know what I was looking for, snooping through my father’s room.
I think I wanted to watch my mother’s leftovers wash away
though I never saw them leave, never saw their empty spaces,
but nowadays, the closet is full, the dresser is full,
so Dad went metro and doubled his wardrobe or my eyes are jokers.
I think you usually throw jokers out for card games and I am better off blind.
Then I couldn’t see my mother as gone.

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